This was sent out in my newsletter a few months ago, and I thought I’d also post it here for everyone to enjoy. I am going to be publishing this into an ebook and paperback soon, so there will also be a copies for sale once I’ve completed revisions, but for now, here is what I have so far. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter to get these bonus content emails sooner than everyone else!

A Hold of Spectres
Part 1
Chapter 1

Fortress of Fire’s Hearth
Country of Utara

Fourteen year old Rhaean Fell sat on her bed, back against the headboard, as she read in her second volume of Utaran history. She was six years into her official training as a recruit of The Order, and while the other girls had all completed their textual studies, Rhaean had not. She was far behind them and, based on her slow-going progress, it seemed she would remain so. Unless some miracle occurred, she would likely not graduate with the rest of her cohort. Typically, this would have gotten her removed from training altogether, but one of the Mothers of The Order, Kyndra Fell, was her actual mother, and she would not allow Rhaean to be removed from training. If she did not graduate with this cohort, she would try again with the next. 

Rhaean sighed and set down the book. She hated this place. It was even worse than Passing’s End, and she didn’t understand how such a thing could be possible. She had been born at Passing’s End deep in the heart of an especially cold and ruthless winter. Her training there had lasted until she was twelve, and then she and a few other recruits had been taken to this place, the magical fortress of Fire’s Hearth, to learn how to control their magical abilities. 

Except Rhaean had no magical abilities. 

That didn’t stop her mother from bringing her here, farther away from the world, from life, from freedom than even Passing’s End had kept her. It was agony, existing in this space when she knew there was so much more the world could offer. She was the slowest recruit, the shyest recruit, the clumsiest recruit, and she could not retain any of the information the recruits were taught, no matter how relentlessly she studied. And it did not matter how many of the other Mothers pushed Kyndra to remove Rhaean from training, nor how often Rhaean begged to be removed herself, Kyndra would hear none of it. Even when Rhaean had begged to stay at Passing’s End rather than go to Fire’s Hearth, Kyndra would not hear of that either. She was the blood daughter of one of the Mothers of The Order, and that meant she would receive no special treatment and even less compassion than the other recruits. Therefore her entire existence, from her very first breath, had been in the isolated, secluded mountains of Utara.

She had never lived anywhere else. Didn’t know what the rest of the world was like, except for what she read in the books that filled the fortress library. But even those only told her so much. She enjoyed learning of the histories, of the main events that had shaped the world she lived in now. She was fascinated by the people in these histories, their choices, their values, their sacrifices. Despite how long ago they lived in comparison to her, she felt a distinct kinship with them. How hard they fought to make themselves known in the world, to leave their mark in some way that would last. It was the same driving force that Rhaean felt inside herself.

As it was, she had made no mark on the world at all. How could she when she was stuck inside of this dark, damp, depressing fortress? The world was vast and its opportunities endless, and yet she was not allowed to leave Fire’s Hearth, just as she had never been allowed to leave Passing’s End. None of the girls could. Not until they graduated, and that wouldn’t be for another four years. More for her, she thought sadly. Only then would she be free to live in the world, meet other people, and visit the places she read about. Only then would she understand what it meant to be alive. 

Only then would she actually live.

Rhaean laid her head back against the bed rest. It wasn’t that she wanted to do poorly or disappoint her mother, but she just wasn’t suited to this life. Where the other girls had adapted and learned to challenge themselves, Rhaean had merely struggled and suffered. She gave everything she had every single day, and still it was not enough. The Mothers all despised her, including Kyndra. They either singled her out and shamed her in front of everyone, or ignored her entirely. She was used to it, but it never failed to sting. Kyndra said that, like everything else, it was for her betterment, her growth, her chance to succeed after graduation. That was what The Order represented, she said: opportunity and freedom.

“More like oppression and imprisonment,” Rhaean muttered to herself.

She turned away from her book, eyes glancing out the large window to her left. It was late summer. Autumn was fast approaching and, while Rhaean loved the autumn weather, she found herself yearning for a completely different life. It wasn’t that she was unhappy; at least, that was what she told herself. Rather, it was that she felt like an outsider, even among the women who had been like family to her. She had known the other Mothers all her life, and while they were brutal in their training, she remembered when they had treated her more like a niece than a recruit. Kyndra had started training her early, wanting Rhaean to not only be prepared for her life within The Order, but to also outshine all of the other recruits once they were brought to Passing’s End. She saw it as a mark of honor for her daughter to be first in every subject. It was for her mother that Rhaean gave a damn about The Order at all.

Those initial years of training had been minimal, more focused on how to conduct herself and how to learn discipline, with the basics of some other subjects thrown in. There was already a cohort of recruits training when she was born, and she spent a great deal of her younger years watching them, studying with them, attending their lessons. She had understood little of it, but enjoyed being around them, feeling as though she was part of something very important. It was during those years that the Mothers had been pleasant and friendly; they would sneak her sweets when Kyndra wasn’t watching, or take her out into the gardens to teach her little things about botany, or chase her around Passing’s End just to hear her laugh. 

Rhaean was seven years old when that cohort graduated training. All at once, the girls she had looked up to as older sisters were gone. She had no one to play with, no one to talk to, no one to study while she was curious and wanted to see what the recruits were learning. Over the course of only a couple of weeks, she watched them all pass their final test, and then leave Passing’s End forever. 

She passed one year alone in Passing’s End with no one but the Mothers for company. It had been lonely and grueling; her mother had intensified her private lessons greatly, wanting her to know as much as possible before the new cohort arrived. Her carefree days came to an abrupt end and she quickly learned that her life would be completely different from that point forward. And though she did not want to begin her official training itself, she had been excited at the prospect of having other girls her age to talk to, to spar and study with. She would have friends for the first time in her life. And by that point, she was desperate for kinship, for belonging.