Sometimes our writing journey/process has to evolve.
As individuals we’re always changing, always evolving, always adapting. New jobs, new college, new homes, new relationships, etc. all impact our daily routines and, as a result, our writing practices have to change, too. In my M.F.A. program, one of our faculty mentors talked about what it means to develop a writing practice and what he said has stuck with me for years: don’t try and force your writing practice into something that isn’t going to work for you long-term; if you can’t maintain writing everyday and need to write exclusively on the weekends, then do that; if you need to space it out across a few days each week so that you can rest on the weekends, then do that, but no matter what, find the process that works for you. Most importantly, let that process change as needed so that you never fall out of consistent writing habits.
Then he gave a statistic that floored me: half of all M.F.A. graduates stop writing within a year of graduating.
I consider myself very lucky that I have not fallen out of writing. I haven’t always been as flexible as I need to be to write as much as I want to, but I’m hoping that will change this year, especially now that I’m done with school. Because now I have the time and the space to really invest in my writing. I have a great job that allows me to pay all of my bills. I have comfort and stability for the first time in my life. And with each day that passes since I finished my third master’s, I feel myself growing closer and closer to a deeper relationship with poetry.
On Sunday, I wrote a poem about my struggles with pregnancy loss and fertility. I’m almost 38 years old; a pregnancy at this age would likely be dangerous, and even though my partner and I have talked about having children, it simply isn’t a step we’re prepared to take right now. And really, that’s okay. The point, though, is that this struggle is an integral part of my life. It always will be. I have good years when I can brave the Mother’s Day holiday without too much pain, and then there are years like this year when I am overwhelmed by grief and disappointment and heartbreak. That’s where poetry is born.
I’ve been giving myself time to rest this week in the aftermath of finishing my degree. My brain needs time to unwind and destress in the wake of so much pressure. At some point, I will take the pieces I wrote in the MSPW program at NYU and I will start sending them out for publication. I have at least three pieces that I feel strongly about. pieces I think I could get published in some kind of science or nature magazine. Even though I have an amazing job that I intend to make into a career, I am also still interested in environmental journalism on the side. It won’t make me much (if any) money at first, but I am nothing if not an over-achiever, and I want to utilize this degree.
That endeavor will be very slow going, though. My priority is poetry. My second priority is my novels.
Love and light!
