This will be a short post.

Today I start a new therapy segment. It’s my first session with this new therapist. And unlike all of my other counselors, she’s not focusing on talk-therapy, which can take years of consistent attendance to yield real healing results. This is solutions based, trauma focused therapy. I’m both excited to start this new chapter, and also terrified. Healing trauma is HARD and it HURTS. It’s worth it, but it requires an enormous amount of discipline and accountability. It requires honesty with one’s self. It requires a willingness to really dig into the trauma and do the work needed to repair the wounds.

All therapy is hard, and up to this point, all of the therapy I’ve tired has fallen short of the really deep healing I’ve been looking for. I’m hoping this therapy helps. I was too miserable for too long and I don’t want to carry these hurts this way anymore. Friends have already said they can see a change in me, they can see more happiness in my eyes than even two years ago, and that means so fucking much to me. But I know I need more healing. I want more healing. I don’t expect to ever be completely free from the traumas I’ve endured, but I also don’t want them to be so glaring either.

So here’s to healing, to life, and to looking for new roads.