**SPOILERS AHEAD**

If you haven’t seen this film, you may not want to read this. Lots of spoilers.

Okay, I’ve seen a lot of discourse about this film online and a lot of it is proving why this movie is so incredibly necessary. First off, the movie is absolutely incredible for a number of reasons; the cinematography, the acting, the use of lighting and colors, the humor, the screenplay, the music…all of it is very atmospheric. And even though the premise is simple, the execution is truly disturbing and dark.

Premise: young man likes young woman. Young man is too scared to tell young woman his feelings. Young woman has plans for her future, plans she’s excited about. Young man has no plans for his future and only thinks about young woman. Young woman finally asks young man if he likes her and young man is still too scared to say yes. Young man uses a “One Wish Willow” collectible to wish that young woman will love him more than anyone in the world. Young woman changes almost instantly and becomes unhinged as the rest of the movie unravels. Young man finds out that the only way to reverse the wish is for him to die. Young man allows the unraveling to continue and doesn’t actually try and resolve any of these issues until the very end of the movie.

Pretty straightforward, and yet some of the best social commentary on toxic masculinity/incel behavior, the importance of consent, and the myth of the “nice guy.”

Bear, the main character, has a crush on Nikki. They, along with their two friends, Ian and Sarah, work at a music store. Bear wants to ask her out but never seems to find the courage to do so. And while the beginning of the movie, if taken at surface level, could be seen as setting the audience up to be sympathetic to him, there are enough red flags in the beginning to communicate that Bear is, from the very beginning, the villain of this story.

Red flag #1: when his cat, Sandy, dies because she got into some prescription pills, Bear’s reaction is incredibly underwhelming. He lets out a sigh, says something like, “How’d you get into those?”, and just tosses her body in the trash. No emotional expression. No sadness. His friends have stronger reactions to the news of Sandy dying than he does when he finds her body.

Red flag #2: Bear expresses no interest in Nikki outside of what she can offer him. We find out that she’s working on a story and is a writer; she calls it a love story and Bear asks, “A romance?” and she responds, “No, a love story.” His interest in her writing project does not extend beyond the possibility that it might be connected/in relation to himself. He asks no follow up questions. He doesn’t ask if she plans on publishing it or if it’s part of a larger body of work.  Even as Nikkie talks about her future and plans, Bear is focused on how he doesn’t fit into her plans.

Bear finds out that Nikki lost her crystal necklace and goes into a shop to buy her a replacement. In this shop, he finds a collectible called a “One Wish Willow.” You open it, make a wish, and break the branch. Even as he’s buying the item, the woman behind the counter makes a comment about people coming back to complain about the results. Bear laughs this off confusedly, but it is a clear warning to him not to go through with this.

Later that night, he drives Nikki home after the friend group hands out. She outright asks him if he likes her, and he freezes. He doesn’t tell her the truth. He has the chance to open up, to be honest, and he doesn’t. Nikki leaves to walk inside and Bear is left feeling sorry for himself. After a moment he opens the One Wish Willow, wishes for Nikki “to love him more than anyone else in the world,” and then he snaps the branch.

This is where the online discourse can get really gross, so I want to be as clear as possible. His wish may seem innocent enough, but it is not. His wish is a reflection of the horrible human being that is, not because he has feelings for Nikki and not because he was too scared to voice those feelings, but because by making this wish, he robs her of her autonomy. I’ve seen a lot of people argue that he didn’t know what would happen when he made the wish so he can’t be judged for that, and I outright reject that line of thought.

Because here’s the thing: a good person would never have made that wish in the first place. It doesn’t matter if he knew what the outcome would be or not. His wish is a choice, a conscious, intentional decision he makes regardless of what Nikki may or may not want with him. Instead of facing the potential for rejection, he robs her of her choice in the matter by making this wish. And even if the wish didn’t work, the wish itself is still for her to be with him whether she wants to or not. There is no innocence in this. There’s no ambiguity. A good person would never have wished for this.

And while this may seem ambiguous at this point in the movie, it becomes increasingly unambiguous as the film progresses. Nikki is, from the moment of the wish, an obviously different person. Bear knows it. He also knows that this “love” she supposedly has for him now isn’t real, that this wasn’t her choice, but he doesn’t care. It isn’t actually Nikki he wants because real Nikki isn’t into him like that. What he wants is the version of Nikki who does want him back, and that version only exists because of his wish. That’s what he wants. That’s what he gets. And he’s fine with it.

All the way up to the end, he’s fine with it, even as it becomes increasingly clear that there is something very wrong with Nikki. At no point does he ask her if she’s okay. At no point does he try to get her help. At no point does he think about her wellbeing. He only, ever, thinks about himself. “You’re scaring me,” he says over and over again. Even when the real Nikki takes over her consciousness at a party and starts bashing her head in with a glass, Bear sits and does absolutely nothing. Everyone around him is screaming for him to do something, to take her to the hospital. But he just sits there.

Because the reality is, he would rather both Nikkis suffer than give either of them up.

At one point while Nikki is sleeping, the real Nikki takes over her body for a moment and begs for Bear to kill her. His response?

“Is it really so bad being with me?”

Her response: “I’m not with you, Bear.”

He also has sex with her knowing full well that this isn’t really Nikki, which is rape. Bear is not a sympathetic character, and the movie does such a phenomenal job of reminding us of this. Every time the audience starts to feel bad for him and what Nikki is putting him through, they’re reminded that he set all of this in motion. And even when he calls the One Wish Willow number to try and get the wish altered–not canceled, just altered–and hears the real Nikki screaming in the background, Bear doesn’t do anything. The person on the phone tells him the only way to cancel the wish is if he, Bear, dies. And while he is certainly disturbed by this, he still chooses to keep this charade going.

Because he would rather Nikki suffer than give him his chance to be with her.

This movie isn’t subtle. Everything is on the nose, and it is brilliant. It’s absolutely fabulous. And so many men are missing the entire fucking point, which is why the movie is necessary. Bear is not the victim at any point. He suffers because of his own selfish actions. Instead of respecting the woman he has a crush on, he removes her autonomy to slate his own desire to be with her, no matter the cost. This is what “nice guys” are. This is what toxic masculinity does. This is why enthusiastic consent is always necessary.

This movie is incredible.