It's been about one month (or very nearly) since I finished my M.F.A., and because I am terrible at letting myself slow down, I have been thinking about all of the things I want to do from this point forward. There's a part of me that does still want a PhD. The part of me … Continue reading The Things We Don’t Anticipate
Last week, I had my first EMDR session. I wrote a little about it in the days following, but now it's been about a week since the first session, and I can already feel and see a difference. My marriage is and has been a huge point of pain and trauma in my life. While … Continue reading Underneath the Pain
The only thing I have left to complete before graduating with my M.F.A. in Creative Writing is the final residency this summer. Since my thesis was accepted by the faculty, I've been working on getting prepared for the last residency. It has been one hell of a hectic time because work has been picking up. … Continue reading Grad School: Almost to the End
It's always a good time to look inward and evaluate the things that serve us and the things that hold us back. I have always been a deeply ambitious person. Since I was in third grade, I've known that I want to be a writer. I spent most of my teenage years thinking up really … Continue reading Rewriting Myself
Yesterday began the official first steps of my EMDR therapy. It included identifying my core negative beliefs. And wow, was it painful to see all the ways I dislike myself, all the negative ways I see myself, and all the ways I have allowed other people to define myself. Since I left my ex, I … Continue reading Pushing Through & Digging In
Wow, it has been a busy week! Work has been picking up for me in my job. I've been receiving training on more technical aspects of what designers at our company do, like how to conduct site visits, how to fill out the checklists, how to identify electrical equipment, and how to write evaluative reports. … Continue reading Gaining Ground
Therapy does more than help us heal from trauma. It also lays the foundation for how we process everyday experiences moving forward from the healing process. It, quite literally, changes the way(s) our brains function in the aftermath of healing. Trauma is damage to the brain, as well as to the body and the emotional … Continue reading Learning to Embrace the Unexpected
Today, while not being quite sunny, is, at least, not supposed to rain. Depression has been hitting hard the last couple of days. I've had less motivation to do the things I've had on my agenda. And while nothing has happened to put me into a depressive slump, I must be mindful of just how … Continue reading Another Week, Another Hike
Part of my personal healing process is giving myself a chance to expand beyond the interests I have to embrace interests I've never tried before. Ever since I first felt the end of my marriage coming closer, I've had a desire to try and be more independent, learn and do things that some people wouldn't … Continue reading Archery and Other Things
Yesterday after work, I went on a 30 minute hike at Silver Creek Falls. It's one of my favorite hiking spots within driving distance of Portland, and it has been for years. I hardly went hiking there last year. I went a few times in the late winter/early spring months while it was still rainy, … Continue reading Reflections While Hiking
I woke up this morning to the feel of my partner's hand caressing my back. He woke up before I did (he usually does) and decided that waking me up with his affectionate touch would probably be more enjoyable than hearing the sound of my alarm. He was right. Instead of the sound of an … Continue reading Smelling Sunshine
It's a gorgeous spring morning. Right now the sky is clear and blue, the kind of crisp blue reserved for blooming cherry blossoms and budding pine leaves. My jaw is still tender from dental surgery, but the wounds themselves seem to be healing nicely. I was able to eat solid food yesterday for the first … Continue reading The Choices We Make
My partner and I spent an amazing weekend at Rockaway Beach. We walked along the beach, walked out on the jetty, watched movies, slept a lot, ate Indian food (which I've realized is my second favorite ethnic food), and allowed ourselves to relax. A lot has happened in the last several months, some of it … Continue reading Some Thoughts After a Weekend at the Coast
I cannot believe how quickly semester three is going. I turn in my third packet next week. That's just...mind-boggling. I've been working heavily on my thesis. A lot of it is reading. A lot of it is taking notes on other poems. And a lot of it is remembering to take time for self-care. But … Continue reading The New and the Strange
This week is the annual AWP Conference! It's a massive literary and writing conference that features hundreds of writers from around the world giving readings and taking part in panels. Since Covid is, you know, still a pandemic and a crisis, they offered it virtually this year, which means that I can go and watch … Continue reading AWP 2021