I’m taking steps to try something new to see how it works for my mental health.

I’m slowly deleting the most problematic and stress inducing social media platforms that I participate on. Yesterday I started this journey by deleting my Twitter account. It wasn’t much of an issue since I’m rarely ever on Twitter anymore, but this was still a big step for me. I like being connected to people. I like the friends I’ve made online. But social media is, in many ways, a cesspool of toxicity and misinformation.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things I love about social media. But for my own personal wellbeing, I think it’s important to evaluate just how much social media impacts my mental health. Does the good outweigh the bad? Does it relieve or amplify my stress, depression, and anxiety? Am I getting anything from it that I couldn’t get anywhere else?

I don’t have the answers to all of these questions, and I won’t find the answers until I take the difficult steps of cutting down my social media use. I spend an average of 8 hours a day on my phone. I’d say a good two or three hours of that is playing games. Another hour to hour and a half is for work. The rest of the 3.5 hours per day is spent on social media, and while I don’t necessarily think this is an automatically a bad thing, I do think there are other things I’d rather be doing with my time.

Reading.
Writing.
Sleeping.
Walking.
Cleaning. Okay, so I wouldn’t rather be cleaning than scrolling through social media, but it’s something else I could be doing with my time that’s more productive.
Cooking.
Playing with my puppy.
Spending time with my partner.

The list goes on.

Even if I spent that time only reading and writing, imagine how much reading and writing I could get done in just one week? I already spend about an hour reading every day. If I added another 3 hours to that, not only would my reading numbers go up, but I would get so much writing done. And in comparison to how I feel while scrolling through social media (which is usually just apathetic, sad, depressed, and anxious), reading and writing contribute positively to my mental health. More than almost anything else, reading and writing allow me to heal and process and use my creativity to understand my past. Reading and writing are therapeutic.

Social media does allow me to feel less alone which, during the pandemic, has been vital to my wellbeing. I have to acknowledge that. And I think too, for people with mental illness, social media can be another form of escapism. I know TikTok has introduced me to some of the funniest shit I have ever seen in my life. Like, laughing so hard my abs feel like I’ve just done an hour of sit-ups kind of funny. Or there are things that are inspiring. Or really cute and sweet. Or really validating.

The communities that can be built because of social media is really amazing.

But the thing I’ve realized is that, for a long time now, it’s felt like “living” is just something projected into a Facebook status or an Instagram post. And to be fair, because of the pandemic, a lot of living has been reduced to those things because we kind of can’t do the things we used to do. At least, not without a lot of fear since people won’t get vaccinated or wear masks. STILL. So I definitely understand that right now, especially, social media has been a substitute for more in person experiences.

The thing is, I would rather spend my time in a way that doesn’t suck up hours of my time and energy without anything to show for it. And again, this is merely my own journey with my own mental wellbeing. Social media is an undeniably toxic place. Even for all the good it does and can do, it’s still a breeding ground for bullying, misinformation, and hate. And it’s been such a huge part of my adulthood, I’m not even sure I know what my life would look like without it.

All of this to say: I’m working towards deleting most of my social media. I intend to keep this blog and my TikTok page. Possibly my Instagram too, since I use it for a lot of my poetry. But everything else, I’m hoping to have deleted by the end of this year. It’s an experiment to see if my mental health improves, stays the same, or gets worse as time goes on. Will I write more? Read more? Be more consistent in my daily schedule?

I guess we’ll see.